Big Break?

Anyone else call their mama and tell her everything? If you nodded or agreed in any way, just know that I do too. I call my mom every single day. She's my friend, which is a right I've earned now that I am an adult. However, something happened over the last couple of days that I kept just between me and Jack. Sorry, mom. She is going to be reading about this for the first time here with all of you.

So it's no secret that I am searching and praying for God's direction in my life. We've been seeking him daily for a sign or an answered prayer as to just what that calling is. I've felt torn, confused, and overwhelmed lately because I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something for God, but I feel like I'm grasping for straws as I try to get what that is.

I saw an ad on a website for "Female Singer" in the little town of Pigeon Forge. It was on a gospel site so I knew it probably was related to gospel music. I'm going to refrain from naming the place of business and the website I found the information on, however, for legal reasons. I immediately sent a headshot, song demo, and my resume and cover letter in a brief email to the guy listed as the contact person. Meh. Let's see where this goes.

I got an email back informing me that this place was closed for the week, but that he'd get back with me on Friday. Meh. Ok.

Saturday afternoon, the aforementioned contact man called me. I missed his call initially, but returned it as soon as I got his message. He wanted me to come in for a live audition. They loved my demo, thought I was beautiful and just had to see me ASAP.. Could I come tomorrow (Sunday)? Umm... Sure.  I needed a track to sing with. (Wait, people still use those!?) I needed a good stage outfit. (Sparkles? All black? #innerbeyonce) Jack and I were up until midnight finding just the right song and the perfect outfit. Muchos gracias to Morgan Easter for her help. Love the Easter Family!

Sunday morning we struck off for Pigeon Forge after dropping off Cam at his mom's.  I seriously thought I was going to throw up the whole way there. Forget butterflies. I had hornets in my stomach. It literally HURT from being so nervous. I've never done anything like this before. An audition!? My sisters are the singers, not me. What. Am. I. Doing.

Precious Jack talked me out of jumping out of the car a few times. Haha, he was probably really fed up with me. Anyhow, audition time came. I sang. On a big stage. By myself. Then I had to sing and harmonize with the other singers, which was easier for me. I'm used to blending in, not standing out. Oh, did I mention they asked me to sing and OPEN the show? Because they did. And I did. I sang in front of an audience at a legit show. Who am I and WHERE IS KAYLA!? Jack said I did well.

And guess what? They offered me the job. Incredible pay. Several perks. A contract! What!?  Exciting!

But...

I didn't take it. I turned their offer down. We could have moved to PF and been so much closer to Jack's parents and closer to my family. We could have made decent money. I could be ministering through song to people as a CAREER. But I said no.

As we watched the show, it was obvious everyone in the room was already a Christian. They'd already accepted Christ or they already are aware of him and salvation. It was a GREAT and POWERFUL show, but it was just that... A show. I spent five plus years watching those "shows" where it's someone's job to perform. If I am going to serve God, I want it to be in a capacity where it is real, and where people know it isn't a show. This is not for me. It was for my ex, and it's the career of many, many people in the Gospel Music Industry, but it is NOT for me.

In Matthew 9:12-13, Jesus is talking to  spiritual leaders and states  "...It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Talk about a sign. For someone, the job I turned down is going to be perfect. But for me, why would I want to minister from a stage to a room full of saved people when there is a lost and dying world right outside my door?

We've both felt lately that God is wanting us to help people.  We have felt super compassionate towards those who are less fortunate than us. I am not trying to brag and say "oh look at me helping people!" No! I am telling you moments that have touched and changed my heart. For example, we helped a homeless guy in Vegas this summer. We were walking along a bridge looking to give our leftover dinner to someone, however, how do you decide which of the ten homeless people to give it to? As I looked around, I noticed a homeless man with a small pizza that someone had given him. He was SHARING IT with another homesless man next to him. It hit my heart like a hammer. Wow. He GETS it.  I've found myself pulling over for people on the side of the road. I feel LED to do that. I know it's dangerous, but if I feel God leading me, I want to follow! We gave a needy man breakfast yesterday morning on our way to PF. I don't care if he does drugs or is a raging alcoholic. I don't care if he is unemployed, cusses, or smokes. I want to love people. Like Jesus did.  So while I may have turned down an AWEOSME job, I feel like in my heart I did the right thing. Even if that audition itself was what led me to grab Dusty some breakfast, a handshake, and some hope.

To follow Jesus means we love what Jesus loves.